We Are ALL Average.

Here’s something that I’ve thought about for a while now. In fact, I first came up with this idea during my first year of college. Here is where I elaborate.

In my first blog post, I made a comment about how I feel when people think I’m smart because of my major. I also said it would be a conversation for another day; I guess that day is today. I actually get a little irritated when they say that, and now you’ll know why, because here is the theory that I’ve come up with:

One of the secrets to being happy and satisfied with life is learning how to be okay with being “average.”

Well, to make you more “okay” with it, I’m going to redefine the meaning of “average.” From this point on, you’re going to hear a lot of references to school. (Deal with it.)

I REALLY don’t like to think of myself as smart; that doesn’t mean that I think I’m stupid either. I decided to pursue a career in Biochemistry because 1) the subject and its capabilities is incredibly fascinating to me, 2) my academic strengths happen to be math and science, where ideas may be a little abstract, and 3) if I needed to support myself and/or my family, I could. I’m not doing it because I’m smart, and it would be easier for me to do this as opposed to another field of work. I’m going into this, realizing that there are going to be people that are way “smarter” than me.

While you may be really good at something, there will almost always be someone better. That’s just a fact of life. But in my opinion, that’s the issue; we always want to be the best. That is our goal. We are so obsessed with being “the best” that we aren’t satisfied with being “good enough.” We never want to be average. But you know what? I know I’m average, and I’m perfectly okay with that, because first of all, being average means that there is PLENTY of room for growth. Second of all, being the “best” means that there’s only one way to go; down. How discouraging. But it doesn’t have to be.

Throughout high school, I was always so angry when grades came out because I always (LITERALLY) got ONE B. All A’s except for that dang B! This curse started the first quarter of my freshman year of high school. I was taking a lot of classes, 0 to 7^th block, so it was a decent work load. But guess what my first B was in… P.E.  Oh I know what you’re saying, “How do you get a B in P.E?!” Trust me.

I know.

You want to know how I earned a B? (Even if you don’t I’m still gonna tell you.) I had a hairline fracture in my leg, and it kind of hurt! So I got a doctor’s note that excused me from participating, but I would still have to make it up later. Well, that would have been fine if it would have actually been healed by the time I needed to make those days up. Surprise. It didn’t. Hence, the B.

I’m still just a little bitter about it, in case you can’t tell. But it was something that was completely out of my control.

I struggled with it for the rest of high school. Every time I got that one B, that little voice in my head reminded me that even though I was “good,” I wasn’t good enough to be the “best.” Instead of being proud of myself for getting good grades, I got frustrated with myself for falling short, and it all started with that stupid B in P.E.

I know that this probably isn’t a new concept, but what I’m trying to say goes past just “falling short” of the best and learning to be ok with it, since you did your best. I’m sure you did, but what are you “falling short” of? Earning a 4.0 GPA? Because the truth is, there’s someone else that’s better, and then someone better than that person, and so on and so forth. So, (now I’m using some physics concepts. You can tell I love science. Nerd) relative to each individual person, they are ALL average. So what, you’re more average than that average person?

If you compared yourself to others in a small group (such as a class), you’d probably be able to put yourself on a definite scale of intelligence. But if you look at the big picture, it would be impossible to do so. To better illustrate what I mean, I’m going to liken this to:

 THE UNIVERSE.

(Cue dramatic music. Go listen to "The Planets-Mars" by Gustav Holst. Listen to the whole thing. You won't regret it. I PROMISE.)

 

(I just felt like comparing something to the universe was so dramatic that it needed a dramatic introduction. Also, my knowledge of astronomy might be a little dated. So if I’m wrong, just go with it, because it fits my analogy perfectly.)

Everything in the universe is moving out and away from each other. If you were to put all planetary bodies in a straight line, and put yourself on one of those objects, it would seem as though everything from your left and right was moving away from you (much like how there will be people “better” than you at something, as well as “worse”). But put yourself on one of those other “moving” objects that you see (slash, put yourself in someone else’s shoes), and you would see the exact same thing. I would seem that everything is moving away from you, and you are stationary. But regardless of what you see you are still moving. You aren’t moving towards or away from anything, you just “are.” (I know it doesn’t make sense, but it does in my mind)

“This person is moving forward, doing this and that, and I’m just stuck here.” Nope. That is an invalid statement.

ANY comparison you make between yourself and another person is completely invalid; you’re still moving. So put yourself on one of those planetary objects, and instead of thinking about what’s happening on your left and right, just consider you; consider the big picture. You are just like them. You are moving. And maybe, if you’d just pause for a second, you’d actually be able to feel it.

Think about it.

We always look at our abilities in comparison to what other people are doing. Always. And if you don’t think you do, then I don’t believe you; we can’t help it! Sometimes we don’t even think about it negatively, either.

“That person’s best is better than my best, and I guess that’s ok.” Well that’s fine, “I guess,” but what I truly believe is that we shouldn’t EVER consider what other people are doing.

“This is my best. I have done all I can do.” There. Just leave it at that. Don’t even think about whether or not it’s good compared to another person. I PROMISE you, God doesn’t care what your best is compared to someone else’s best, and neither should you. (Good grief, how many times can someone say “best?” Well, not enough apparently, ‘cause I ain’t done yet.)

You did your best. They did their best. Therefore, you are EQUALS. You both did all you could do, so just leave it as it is. And because of that, along with my “universe” analogy, we are all just “average.” So no, studying biochemistry doesn’t mean I’m smart. And if I am smart, then so are you; they only thing that’s different is our interests.

At first, I was going to say “don’t even make goals!” I decided that wasn’t a good idea. But I would hope that we could make goals differently. “One day, I want to be as smart as Bill Gates.” That’s respectable, I guess. But it’s a goal based on what someone else has done. Instead, make goals without any preconceptions of what other people have done. Difficult, I know, because we already know what others are capable of, but I truly believe that this could make us purely satisfied with how “successful” we are. Take a class with the goal of learning about the subject. Just forget than there are other students in the class. Don’t even make it a goal to get an A, because then you’re judging yourself based on a system. Don’t even EXPECT to get an A if you try your hardest; just learn all you possibly can. If you do all you can to learn about the subject, then you might get the A, but you might not.

I’ll admit that I hate that there’s even a way to measure if someone is the “top of their class.” I’m not trying to negate everything that that person has done to get there, but that means that thousands of students “fell short.” Some of those students may have worked just as hard, if not harder than, that one individual. And it obviously isn’t true; if someone didn’t graduate at the top of their class, it doesn’t mean that they failed or didn’t try hard enough. And I don’t believe that their effort was greater than mine, but I may see it that way. This obviously applies to more than just school, but in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “you are smart enough to make unspoken applications.”

So here we are. We are equals, just working within our own capacity, and no comparison should EVER be made. That is such a relieving thought to me, and I hope it is to someone else. I am equal to Bill Gates, and any other famous or successful person in the world; my best is just as good as their best.

So yes, I am a Biochemistry student.

No, that doesn’t mean I’m smart.

I am perfectly average,

And I am more than okay with that.